The Haze

The 100th Fighter Bomber Group



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Fearless Leader Speaks!



Our roving reporter caught up with Pepdav, and got this exclusive interview:

Haze: What country are we in?

Pepdav: Canada.

Haze: Ah good. OK, what's with the callsign? Is it true that you are heir to the PepBoys fortune?

Pepdav: Well, I work at Pepsi and my name is Dave Evans - hence "Pepdav".

Haze: Ah, I see. You're "Pepdav" because all that caffeine makes you peppy?

Pepdav: No. It's a play on the word "Pepsi", not "peppy".

Haze: You sure?

Pepdav: Yes.

Haze: OK. Hey, I heard that someone found a mouse inside their Pepsi bottle.

Pepdav: That was a Coke.

Haze: You sure?

Pepdav: Pretty sure. I'd have heard about it if we were selling Pepsi's with mice in them (laughs).

Haze: Oh . . . . OK. Well, if you were selling Pepsi's with mice in them, would you charge more for such a product, or less?

Pepdav: Um, I don't know. We wouldn't do that.

Haze: Yeah, sure. But if you did, what would you charge?

Pepdav: I have no idea. Can we talk about something else?

Haze: OK, OK. Is it true that Coke has cocaine in it?

Pepdav: I seriously doubt it, but I don't work for Coke, I work for Pepsi.

Haze: Pepsi?

Pepdav: Yes, Pepsi.

Haze: So, Pepsi has cocaine in it?

Pepdav: No . . . . I mean . . . look, I don't know what's in it. I don't make it, I just sell it. But, no, of course Pepsi does not have cocaine in it.

Haze: But you don't know that for sure?

Pepdav: No, I don't know that for sure. Look, is there a point to this?

Haze: OK, I can see this subject makes you nervous, so sure, we can move on. OK - and I want you to tell the truth - don't you like Coke better than Pepsi?

Pepdav: Can we talk about something other than soda pop?

Haze: Um, sure. Lemme see . . . . married? Kids?

Pepdav: Married for 17 years, no kids, but we have 2 retired racing greyhounds that we adopted from a rescue shelter.

Haze: Yeah, I see that. Does your dog bite?

Pepdav: No.

Haze: Hey there doggy . . .. Arrgghhhh! HEY, he bit me!!! I thought you said your dog didn't bite!

Pepdav: That's not my dog.

Haze: Oh, that's really friggin' funny.

Pepdav: Thank you very much.